


When You Can't Hold On

by Scarfinator



Category: Tales of Berseria, Tales of Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Love, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25950139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarfinator/pseuds/Scarfinator
Summary: After parting with her, Velvet's comrades—her friends—didn't rest until they could bring her back to the earth. Though she can live her life unhindered once more, she doesn't accept it as a blessing. When she runs off after an argument with Laphicet over his fate, Eizen must track her down—and never let her go again.Written for Eivel Week 2020 Day 2: "Don't Let Go"
Relationships: Eizen & Eleanor Hume, Velvet Crowe & Laphicet, Velvet Crowe/Eizen
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Collections: Eivel Week 2020 Collection





	When You Can't Hold On

Velvet had just awoken from her slumber, but already her life was again thrown into chaos.

Seven years ago, Velvet used her life and consciousness to seal Innominat from the world. It was a compromise she came up with to at least allow Phi to live, even though both of them were doomed to die once she took her revenge.

However, some refused to let that be the end of her.

At last, the tireless and exhaustive efforts of her comrades—her friends—to free her of that self-made seal finally paid off. The infinity ahead of her was shortened to a mere few years, Maotelus freed her from daemonhood, and she was granted the chance to live her life the way she wanted once more.

But the reunion wasn’t joyous.

Velvet was at first confused she was even awake to begin with. And then panicked realizing that Laphicet wasn’t with the party.

Then, she learned what happened to him.

“So you’re telling me...” Velvet breathed in terror. “This _thing_ is Laphicet?!”

“I’m sorry, Velvet,” Maotelus apologized. “Does my form scare you?”

“Of course it does!” she cried, going into an indignant rage. “Why are you a dragon? What happened to that chance I gave you to live a normal life?!”

“I only did what I wanted to. I had the power of purification, and I got the chance to spread it to the whole world. I still travel, learn, and laugh... Life as a new Empyrean has worked out fine for me.”

“This is my fault...” Velvet whispered. “I thought you... but it was because I... I didn’t think Innominat would need a replacement, but...” She clenched her fists, so tightly her nails nearly drew blood from her palms.

“I’m fine, I really am,” Maotelus desperately assured her. “You told me to live my life the way I wanted, right?”

“I told you to live and enjoy your life! And now I hear you threw it all away the minute I fell asleep?! That you ignored my ord— that last selfish request! And why are you called ‘Maotelus’ now, anyway?”

“Because I’m no longer Laphicet the malak. I’m Maotelus the Empyrean. That was my true name when I was a malak. The one Eleanor gave me when—”

“ _Eleanor_ , huh? Some job she did taking care of you, letting this happen!” Without waiting for even another word from Maotelus, she stormed off, barely contained angry tears filling her eyes. His head drooped as he saw her off.

Nobody had the heart to talk to her about what happened.

* * *

It wasn’t long after the party left Maotelus behind at the Empyrean’s Throne before Velvet insisted they set up camp. “Let’s stop here for the night.”

Everyone looked at Velvet inquisitively. 

“But the sun has barely even started to set,” Eleanor said. “What did you have in mind?”

“I want to make a prickleboar stew,” Velvet explained. “I might as well get used to having to fight as a human sooner rather than later.” She glanced down at her left arm. Unbandaged and once more pale, with uneven scarring circling the bicep where that therion arm once sprouted. “And I won’t find any if I wait too much longer to hunt some down,” she continued after her pause.

“Alright, I’m down for that,” Rokurou said, beaming. “We can—”

Velvet spun to glare at him. He raised an eyebrow, only prompting her to deepen the glare.

“No,” she growled. “I’m not going to get the practice I need if I have you all tagging along. Just set up camp.”

Magilou shrugged dramatically. “You’re still that same old lone wolf even without the claw, huh? It’s not like we’d steal _all_ your kills.”

“Argue any longer, and no one gets dinner.”

The words had barely even left Velvet’s mouth before she bolted off. Her comrades saw her off without a word.

“Sheesh, what’s her problem?” Magilou eventually sighed. “We put all that effort into waking her up, and she treats us like chopped liver!”

Eleanor narrowed her eyes in the distance. She said nothing, but every feature of her face was tense.

“Hopefully she won’t be long,” Eizen said. “Let’s set up camp so she can start cooking right away.”

He, Rokurou, and Magilou all started to set up the tents. Eleanor, however, did not budge from her spot. She clenched her fists and breathed deeply as she strode over to where Eizen knelt.

“Eizen.”

He slowly looked over his shoulder.

“Would you come over here for a second?” She gestured for him to follow, and led him a short distance from the camp.

“I think,” she started. “I think you should go after her.” Her face was tense, and her tone was urgent.

“Why’s that? She’ll be fine. It’s just prickleboars.”

“We all know why she’s so upset,” Eleanor explained, slightly fidgeting in place. “Do you really think that ‘I want to make prickleboar stew’ is the only reason she ran off like that?”

Eizen shrugged. “It’s not like there’s anything we can do to stop her. She obviously needs some time alone, so we should—”

“This isn’t the time for that!” Eleanor shouted. “Of course we can’t stop her. Not when you’re the only one she’d take seriously.”

“Huh?” Eizen raised an eyebrow. What was that woman going on about?

“If I chased her down to tell her everything was going to be alright, she would dismiss it as platitudes.” She spoke with a trembling voice, concern laced in her every word. “She needs to hear it from someone she knows she can trust, someone who doesn’t say that sort of thing unless he means it with all his heart.”

Eizen clicked his tongue, narrowing his eyes at Eleanor. “And that’s why I can’t do it either. Because I’m not going to say something I don’t mean.” He put his hands lazily on his hips. “She’s in a bad spot with an uncertain future, and we all know it. Just leave her alone for now.”

“It’s ‘being left alone’ by one of us that got her like this in the first place!” Eleanor snapped. “Or... well...” She shrunk back, the nervous concern returning. “You’re completely right. But... No matter how grim her future looks, I still think it’s important we let her know she has our support. That’s one thing we do know for sure she has ahead of her.”

“And you still think I should do it by myself.”

“Yes,” Eleanor answered. “I don’t know how exactly to put it, or why I know this, but...” She paused, taking a deep breath, and stared pleadingly at him. “But I know that you’re the one person she needs to hear ‘you’re not alone’ from the most.”

Eizen wasn’t sure why either, but at that moment he finally understood what Eleanor meant. And he’d be lying if he said he truly thought Velvet was okay wandering around the plains by herself for too long.

He nodded. “I hear you. I’ll go after her.” Eleanor nodded back to him as he turned and made his way after Velvet.

* * *

Velvet proved difficult to track down.

Eizen kept all his senses on high alert for her. He thought carefully about each place she might go, ran as fast as he could to each one, but no matter what he did he couldn’t even catch a trace of her.

The longer his search went on, the deeper his heart sank. Where was she? _Where was she_? All this time spent bringing her back to the earth, so she could live the life she deserved to have... And what if she’d thrown it all away?

Eizen trusted in Velvet’s ability to fend for herself. Her strength, cunning, and fortitude were on a level that few humans possessed. But at least right now, he didn’t trust her to _take care of_ herself.

Damn the prickleboars, or anything stronger mixed in between. Velvet’s biggest enemy now was her sorrow.

A cold sweat overtook Eizen as he moved through the plains as his mind rapidly jumped through all the worst possible conclusions. Dying in a recklessly chosen fight? Falling victim to a trap in her frenzy? ... _Suicide_? His dread only grew as the sun sank lower and lower.

Eizen kept track of all the close friends he’d ever lost. An even fifty of them all fell to his curse, and more than anything, he didn’t want Velvet to wind up as number fifty one.

He stopped to take an unfortunately needed break, choosing a nearby tree to lean against. He stared into the dark sunset and shook his head; he wasn’t sure when that mad woman took his heart, but right then the only thing he could think about was her well being. Making sure she was safe. Doing what he could to bring her back to reality.

He wanted to protect her, more than anything.

Protecting a loved one... A laughable desire for a Reaper to have. But Velvet did have a habit of turning that curse in her favor. Perhaps he could convince her to travel with him just a bit longer, he thought. If Velvet kept up that streak of flipping his cursed coin to heads, then maybe... 

He smiled briefly to himself. Selfish desires to keep her forever by his side went through his mind. To never let go, to spend the rest of her life together.

He grit his teeth and shook his head again. Love. A new emotion to Eizen, one he’d miraculously managed to avoid encountering all those centuries he’d spent with that curse. Velvet was a resilient woman, and he could have chosen a more ill-suited person as his first love...

But that was enough daydreaming and fantasies. He’d return to them later, once he actually had Velvet back in his sight.

Suddenly, a strong shock ran through the tree he leaned on, shaking Eizen from his spot. He immediately sprung from his spot, backing away to find the source of the impact.

Directly at the foot of the tree, his eyes fell upon a dead prickleboar. The boar had a fresh, deep gash in its side; it crashed into the tree so hard that if the wound didn’t kill it, the impact would have done the job. Looking up, he found its assailant: Velvet, standing and breathing heavily just a short distance away.

She was considerably scuffed up, body scraped and hair wild, but was otherwise unharmed. As he expected, she kept a significant portion of her monstrous strength, even as a human.

Mentally, however, she was the furthest thing from okay.

Her body shook. Tears streamed down her face. Her breath ran ragged as she panted. Though she looked better than when she faced the truth about Innominat all those years ago, she was a ghastly sight nonetheless.

Eventually, Velvet’s eyes fell upon Eizen. She charged at him on sight, a mad dash at whatever next enemy she could find. Eizen effortlessly parried her, knocking her to the ground.

She grunted upon impact, and took several seconds to regain her bearings. Her eyes widened as she realized it was Eizen she charged, and then narrowed as a dark expression overtook her. “I told you not to go after—”

“I saw you send that prickleboar flying just now. You don’t need to go off ‘practicing’ on your own to ‘get back to where you were.’”

“Good,” Velvet spat, slowly standing up. “Even more reason to leave me alone.”

“Hardly,” Eizen retorted, approaching her as if to emphasize his point. “We went through the trouble of rescuing you, so none of us want you running out of our sight just yet. Especially after the scene you caused at the Throne.” Now directly in front of her, he crossed his arms.

“Then you should know I’m beyond help, right?” Velvet snarled. “Let me steer the course of my own life. If I want to live, I live. If I want to die, I die… That’s what you and Rokurou decided all those years ago in the Earthpulse, remember?”

Eizen winced. She didn’t need to remind him. “Did that upset you?”

“What do you think?!”

“Velvet, you should know neither of us meant it that wa—” He cut himself off with a sigh. Clearly the ‘tough love’ approach wasn’t going to cut it. Not this time.

Struggling to find the words, he slowly uncrossed his arms. “I’m sorry. It’s all that I knew how to do,” he admitted. “I didn’t know what to do then, and I don’t know what to do now either, but... Just let us help you, Velvet.”

Velvet stared silently at Eizen. Her expression gradually softened, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. “You’re nothing but persistent,” she finally said. Her voice shook slightly, but she succeeded in leveling it a touch. 

Velvet looked around at her surroundings, at the tree by her side, at the vast fields surrounding her and Eizen, at the sun continuing to set in the distance. She shut her eyes and grimaced, opened them once more, and looked up at Eizen. “I know what I said was unfair to Phi— to Maotelus,” she said. “But... It’s still so painful to think about how I let him go.” Despite her efforts to keep a composure, her voice was slowly regaining its quiver. “How the Empyreans waited until the moment I was gone to come swipe him...!

“I thought Phi was going to get to live the normal life he deserved. But not even a minute after I closed my eyes...!!” She punched the tree at her side. “He throws it all away anyway! Did he think that just because I’d never see him again, that I wouldn’t care?! That selfish...”

Eizen said nothing, letting her vent.

“...There I go again. It’s what I deserve, I know. It’s not like I didn’t call what I wanted from him ‘my final, selfish request.’ But...” she laughed bitterly through her tears. A quiet, yet mad and venomous laugh. “Everyone I’ve ever called a friend really does get taken away from me in the end, huh... Sooner or later, no matter what. I can’t hold on to anybody.”

“He’s still alive,” Eizen said. “He’s just perhaps not living the most normal of childhoods. Even though Maotelus doesn’t want you to stay, I’m sure he wouldn’t complain if you visited now and again.”

Velvet fell silent again, mulling over his words. “I suppose you’re right. It’s better than nothing. But still...”

“Even if you feel you let him go, Velvet,” Eizen started, “not one of us has ever let _you_ go. Not him, not us. We spent seven long years bringing you back into the world, and as long as I’m around, your ship will sail once more.”

Her frown deepened at his reassurance. “You truly are insane. Why even pour so much effort into the Lord of Calamity? A new life is the last thing I deserve.”

“When have any of us concerned ourselves with ‘what we deserve’?” Eizen retorted. “Steering your own ship means not giving a damn about what the rest of the world thinks you should do. You want redemption? Then I’ll give you your sentence.” A fire kindled in his sharp, blue eyes as he stared into Velvet’s. ”Find a new life for yourself. Live prosperously for many years to come. And I’m staying right by your side to make sure it happens.”

“What the hell are you even going on about?”

“I mean it, Velvet,” he said. The long-stifled longing in his heart poured out with every word he spoke. “I’m never leaving you alone again.”

Velvet’s eyes widened, staring holes into him. “...And what of Aifread’s pirates?” she asked. “Would you follow me if I didn’t board the ship again? Even if I did, it’s still unlikely I’d stay forever. And we all know you’re most partial to the pirates and their ‘creed.’”

There was a sense of bitterness in her tone, an overt overtone of... jealousy? Whatever it was, Eizen was overcome with the urge to shut it down.

“There’s no ranking in who or what I love.”

Velvet’s jaw dropped, but this time he didn’t care how she reacted. If it slipped out once, there was no use hiding what he truly felt. Simple and clear: he loved Velvet. It was only now dawning on him just how deep that love went, but there was no other explanation for all the energy he spent trying to get her back on her feet.

“Who I choose to follow doesn’t reflect who I ‘prefer,’” he continued. “If you can’t bear anyone ever leaving you alone again, then I make certain no one ever leaves you alone again. If you can’t hold on to anyone, then I’ll never let go of _you_. Simple as that.”

She kept silent for several moments. Her gaze stayed strong, and it bore into Eizen as she slowly composed herself. Eventually, she took a deep breath and grabbed him by his shoulders, yanking him closer.

“Do you swear on it?” she whispered through gritted teeth. “You’d better mean every word you’re saying. And if you don’t...” she leaned in closer, lowering her voice again. “Then a word to the not-so-wise: talk to a woman like that carelessly, and she’ll take it the wrong way.”

Eizen smirked and immediately pulled Velvet into an embrace, prompting a gasp from her. The sensation of a woman in his arms was awkward; he could feel every inch of Velvet’s body pressed against every inch of his. Velvet’s body tensed up within his grasp, then relaxed. Though the hug was awkward, the melding of their bodies was also comforting and fulfilling. Like a centuries old puzzle longing for completion that finally found its final piece.

“If you thought even for a minute I didn’t mean anything I said, the despair’s clouding your mind more than I realized.” He squeezed Velvet tighter, leaning his head forward into her hair. “You’ve forgotten what kind of man I am. I steer my own course, and no sailor goes out to sea without at least an idea of where he wants to go.”

Eizen pulled back, still holding her. He smoothed a hand down the back of her hair. “Right now, what I want is you... I love you, Velvet, and it’s time I claimed you for my own.” He looked into her eyes, a gentle smile on his face overtaking all tension from before.

Velvet had no response for him. With neither a word nor resistance to offer, she allowed him to hug her for several long moments. Then tentatively, slowly, she started to return Eizen’s hug with shaking arms. He began to stroke her back, up and down, a soothing motion.

That was enough to completely undo Velvet once more.

She threw her arms around Eizen and began sobbing into his chest. By how tightly she squeezed him back into her, he could tell she felt the same.

The reciprocation was welcome, but it still surprised him. What time did a Lord of Calamity have for love and romance? He knew he was irreplaceable to her, she’d told him as much when she thanked the seven seas for bringing the Reaper into her course right before he saw her for ‘the last time’, but _that_ level of regard for him was still alien.

As Velvet wailed and shook in his arms, however, every last shred of doubt in his mind burned away.

Eizen squeezed her tighter once again, suppressing tears of his own. His heart soared the highest it had in a good seven years, singing at the knowledge that even the Reaper could bring Velvet the happiness she needed.

She eventually calmed enough to pull her head back and whisper into Eizen’s ear.

“You truly are an incorrigible fool, Eizen... But at least that makes two of us.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic entry for Eivel Week! I am beyond blessed to be hosting this week with my usual Eivel partner-in-crime and close friend, Asia.
> 
> I'm only posting the first chapter for this day, but at some point after the week's over I plan to post a followup chapter to this as well.
> 
> I have some other fics I'm preparing for other days as well, and am excited to post them! Happy Eivel Week indeed!


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